Monday, December 20, 2010

10-20-2010

Sorry I haven't posted for a couple of days, I got back to my home town and had some problems connecting to the Inter-web here, but its all fixed now.

This entry wont necessarily be a sports related one, so if that's why you came here then I'm sorry, but I just felt like talking a little bit about myself, and It's my blog, so I do what I want.

Let me first start off by saying that I spend way too much time not sleeping lately. I have this weird biological clock that makes me not get tired until like 4 in the morning sometimes, which is starting to become a huge issue. I can almost guarantee you that I have a form of insomnia, which causes me to have tons of alone time. For me this is a terrible thing. I have terrible self-esteem, and huge periods of time where I can just lay in my bed and let my mind think about my life is self destructive. I constantly criticize or despise where my life is now and the choices I have made to get myself here. I almost always begin to wonder about what my future holds, and what kind of man I will become. To complete the cycle I always fall asleep dreaming that I was some other person with a completely different life. This three part act only seems to happen when I stay up really late at night, which is why I stated that this is becoming a huge issue.
I don't want to turn this into a "woe is me" rant, or every one feel sad for Kyle because he is sensitive, but writing is really my only escape. Now normally I don't ever let anything I write see the light of day, remember the self-esteem issues, but I am taking a risk by putting something out in the open like this. Honestly I don't care if you read this and begin to judge or make fun of me. I am just trying to combat this the only way I know how.

If you made it this far I would like to thank you once again for taking the time to read this, I titled this blog an open look into one guy's mind, and that is what I intend to write about. If there is anyone who feels the way I do, or would like to offer any suggestions feel free to leave a comment below.

Until next time,
Khough


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